She doesn't look bored anymore
Good afternoon!
What a weekend it’s been. I went out on my date, it was a very pleasant afternoon at Kew Gardens, I highly recommend it as a fun day out. You can get 2 for 1 on tickets if you both get there by train. I’m going clubbing with my mum on Friday, so the drama that is my social life will continue. The chances of me pulling are rather slim because 1) I’m going clubbing in Croydon and 2) I’ll be out with my mum.
Today’s blog post is another dissection of a Daily Mail article. It was so much fun last time that I thought I’d give it another go… This one’s called “Why women have sex: To relieve boredom, win favours… or to stop a headache” and from that title alone, I can tell it’s gonna be a good one 
I did a bit of digging around and I found this marvellous questionnaire (pdf format), which seems to be the research for Cindy Meston and David Buss’ book. You can also click here to read the accompanying information about the study that was handed out along with the questionnaire. The book won’t be released until September 29th, so I can’t really comment on it, but having a quick flick through the potential reasons is rather enlightening.
Of all the reasons listed, my absolute favourite has to be:
147. I wanted to keep warm
I can just imagine the scenario:
“Do you want to have sex with me?”
“Err… not particularly”
“You might get cold…”
“Really? Oh I hadn’t thought of that. Yeah, go on then. Climb aboard.” [or something equally as sexy]
There are loads of gems. I may print out this form and use some of the reasons as song ideas:
131. It seemed like good exercise
It shouldn’t “seem” like good exercise – it IS good exercise, it’s SEXERCISE!
7. I wanted to feel closer to God
For anyone that hasn’t either shagged to *that* song, or at least slow-danced to it, I highly recommend it. I went to see Nine Inch Nails earlier this year and the only criticism I could give was that they didn’t play it 
23. The person was famous and I wanted to be able to say I had sex with him/her.
… So that I could sell my story to the highest bidder! How exciting. To think I didn’t need to spend all these years building up the necessary administrative experience to earn less than the UK’s average wage – I could have just shagged someone famous. Doh!
Well, that’s all very nice. Some of it isn’t as nice, like:
169. I wanted to give someone else a sexually transmitted disease (e.g., herpes, AIDS)
Umm… I really hope that this doesn’t happen often. That’s rather worrying…
Romance and passion, it has to be said, comes rather low down the list, according to a new book.
One woman even admitted to having sex just so her husband would put the rubbish out.
Now that is what I call blue-sky thinking: “Darling, you put the rubbish out and I’ll tweak your prostate”.
Utterly spiffing stuff.
‘Research has shown that most men find most women at least somewhat sexually attractive, whereas most women do not find most men sexually attractive at all,’ conclude the authors, both psychology professors at the University of Texas.
Is that true? I’m not a man so I can’t speak for them, but I am one of those women that does not find most men sexually attractive. I get mild crushes on the odd bloke now again, the ones that make me laugh or the ones with uber-cool hair – I’ve never met a man who can make me laugh AND has really cool hair. If I had to draw a graph, it would look something like this:
moar funny pictures
Sorry, I’m getting a bit carried away with cheezburger.com. Where was I…? Oh yes, I often wonder if men just have lower standards? I might have to blog about that at some point. Back to the Daily Mail article on why women have sex:
… most have selfish motives, with financial or material rewards a major factor behind many sexual encounters.
In one survey of students carried out by the researchers, nearly one in ten women admitted to ‘having sex for presents’.
Hmmm… it doesn’t specify whether the presents were offered before or after sex, so how can we really know what their precise motivation was? The only time a boyfriend has ever bought me a present was when he went on holiday for 2 weeks just before my birthday. He was so tired from jetlag when he got back that by the time we did get round to spending time together, it was my birthday – I was getting loads of presents regardless. In fact, I suspect that if I’d held off a little longer, I’d probably have got a lot more out of him.
“Nearly one in ten” means that technically over 9 out of 10 women don’t care about presents. That could be one of the most damning assertions for an inexperienced man. How would you get a woman to have sex with you? Presents probably won’t work. You’ll just have to ask nicely buy the book.
The research concluded, perhaps predictably, that women are attracted to tall men with a deep voice, who smell good.
I really can’t argue with that. A bad stench is somewhat of a deal-breaker.
A symmetrical body also helps, since it is a genetic indicator of health and suggests he will give his lover strong children.
Sadly, the only man I know of who has a symmetrical body is Dr Who, and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t exist in real life. If he’s reading this though, I live just south of London, get in touch
However, those who don’t live up to this ideal can take some comfort. Their lower level of testosterone may win over the ladies too, because it suggests they are less likely to run off with another woman.
Oh that’s very reassuring. Don’t worry if you’re not tall, dark and handsome with good levels of personal hygiene. You’re more likely to cherish whatever you can get.
All in all, I enjoyed reading this article, but I have to add that it would be nice if, for a change, they printed some genuinely useful tips for men and women. Like “Communicate with your parter to find out what turns them on rather than rely on the dodgy representation of a survey carried out on the other side of the world” perhaps? *Sigh* We live in hope.
