Pick ‘n’ Mix Bible

There have been a fair few instances in the UK recently of Christians being denied things. Denied the right to practice marriage counselling if their beliefs interfere with their ability to actually do the job, denied the right to run a B&B if their beliefs interfere with the law stating that all people are equal, and more recently, denied the right to foster children because their beliefs interfere with the rights of vulnerable children to not be prejudiced against.

Over on my Facebook page, a deeply religious friend argued that it was a wrong decision because the children they are likely to foster would be too young to have any form of sexuality. I happen to disagree, but I’ll get to that shortly. The wider picture that I’m particularly interested in is the notion that many Christians I know feel that they are able to pick and choose sections from the Bible that are good and bad and act on those, rather than take it as a whole.

Don’t get me wrong, I’d rather a Christian with a Humanist conscience than a Christian Fundamentalist, but I still find it curious when conscience and the Bible disagree, how a good Christian decides what the right thing to do is. For example, Christians rarely partake in human sacrifice, force women to be sex slaves, or avoid the mixing of different types of material. We live in an enlightened age now and conscience (or practicality in the case of mixing fibres) takes precedence over something that was written thousands of years ago. How is it that some beliefs erode over time, like these, but others like prejudice against the LGBT community remain intact?

Regarding sexuality, I was born straight, I didn’t have a choice. My massive crush on Andi Peters as a child pretty much confirmed that. I never had to hide my crush on him, or go through my teenage years wondering what was wrong with me – I did anyway, but not because of Andi Peters – and as an adult I don’t have to deal with anywhere near as much vitriol as my gay friends do, not even close. It is exhausting to my brain that we need to legislate equality because some people are unable to work it out for themselves. They’ve worked out that a bunch of other stuff in the bible doesn’t need to be enforced, why can’t they go one step further?

Confirmation Bias

Wowser, it’s been a while!

A relative of mine called the house yesterday afternoon and we talked at length for a while about various things going on in the world. They told me about their work, I shared tales of living at home, and a particular thing that happened recently that’s been on my mind a lot. Without going into detail, they ended their summation of this issue with “Well, let’s face it Carmen, you’ve always been very stubborn.”

In fairness to my relative, that wasn’t the first time I’ve been told this. Usually it’s revealed to me that Taurus was the second choice of whatever astrology enthusiast picks in guessing my starsign because I’m so particularly stubborn, like many farmyard animals and other people born in April. How funny and mildly disappointing that they never pick my obvious creativity, sense of humour, or modesty when guessing my starsign. Incidentally, most astrology enthusiasts, when asked, assume I’m either a Leo (perhaps owing to the amount of leopard print I wear?) or a Scorpio. I have no idea what being a Scorpio involves, however whenever I see or hear that word, it makes me think “Scorrrchio!”

It’s now become a fairly common joke between my mum and I that I am a very stubborn person. The usual response I give to this is “Well, if you say so, I suppose,” which doesn’t seem to make people change their minds, it gives them a slightly sour grin across their mug, pleased with themselves that they’re right. I don’t mind so much. Astrologers more than most need to take small victories where they can, no matter how vague or false their victory may be. Had I said “I’m not stubborn” it leads them to conclude that I am indeed particularly obstinate and therefore they’re proved correct, and in agreeing that I am stubborn at times, they’re proved correct. There are few ways I can think of to counter an accusation of stubbornness. The best I’ve got is to quietly smile to myself that no matter what, they still believe in astrology. Bless.

Where’s the line between being stubborn, assertive, and a pushover? If assertive is some sort of golden mean, how does one go about moving towards it? If someone gave me constructive criticism, how do I decide whether it is actually constructive or just a useless disagreement, as surely a genuinely stubborn person would not be able to tell the difference? There are times when I’ve stuck to my guns on something I thought was correct, and probably a few occasions as a teenager when I dug my heels in despite many people around me telling me otherwise (like my decision to go to a less academically successful but more social college) but there are far more occasions in my adult life when I’ve made a decision and changed my mind based on perspectives that reframed a debate in my mind.

I happen to disagree that I am a very stubborn person. Argumentative, attention seeking, fabulously dressed, perhaps. But now that this opinion of me is so prevalent among a section of people, what lengths would I need to go to if I wanted to change it?

Cx

Also, here’s that painting, now finished.

Cx

Playing with watercolours.

Got my watercolours out and did this:

Cx

Ninja sheep and a hippo on a unicycle

On new years eve, at a small party in Hendon, I decided that I wanted to do more painting. I turned to the host of the party and offered to paint him a picture of anything he wanted. This is my preliminary sketch of what he asked for:

The top hat, ninja and composition are all me. Matt asked for “A sheep having a fight with a hippo… On a UNICYCLE!” I had no idea what a hippo on a unicycle would look like, so I googled “Hippo on a unicycle”, found a lovely gif and ripped it off in the name of friendship and doodly education.

Will probably redraw it onto a 6×4 canvas ready to paint at some point. Cx

Poor Charlotte Metcalf

December 25th  is a particularly special time of year in my family because it’s my mum’s birthday. As such, me and my brother always get her at least two presents each (I like to buy one and make the other), a separate birthday and Christmas card, and my gran makes two meals. There is nothing quite like roast dinner with veg and gravy and chicken curry with rice on the same plate.

I’ve read poor Charlotte Metcalf’s article a few times now, and it was much better understood after putting it in context via her Twitter feed. The general feeling I get is a profound sense of pity towards her. For me, Christmas is about having a great day with my family and taking stock of the year.

If my mum didn’t buy me anything, I wouldn’t care, because giving me stuff doesn’t demonstrate that she loves me. In fact, the best present she ever gave me was a beautiful polka dot dress that she made herself. Every time I look at that dress in my wardrobe, it reminds me how much I am cared about.

My stepmum grows cacti and gave me an aloe (I think) for Christmas a few years ago, I bloody loved that plant. One of my friends makes pickles. Another friend makes his own fruity liqueurs – raspberry vodka for the win. Last year I taught myself to crochet and made hats for everyone. These presents cost practically nothing to make and yet I couldn’t put a value on them, they are that special to me.

Perhaps the reason people are so angry about her article is that the worry she’s going through is something that the vast majority of people experience all the time, not just at Christmas, and not just in an economic downturn. There are people who have never been in a position to spend £45 on soap because they are too busy making sure they have enough money to feed their children on a weekly basis. One of my friends, the mother in a family of 3, manages to pay for everything on £50 a week. Her daughter’s life is full of love and happiness, and as obvious and soppy as it sounds, these qualities cost nothing.

Poor Charlotte Metcalf, I get the impression that she doesn’t quite know how to show anyone she cares about them without spending money. She’d do well to remember that Christmas presents are just stuff wrapped up nicely, there are better ways to make your children happy.

My Top 5 Cheap Presents:

1. Apple sauce: Take a shedload of apples, skin them, chop them, boil them with lemon and voila! Great with pork, or cheese and crackers, or Pringles lovingly dipped. Recipe here.
2. Crocheted hats: Chunky wool with a 10mm hook takes less time than DK with a 4mm hook. I use acrylic wool because my skin’s funny with proper wool, but it’s dirt cheap (like £2 a ball, 1/2 a ball to make a hat) and machine washable. Get free patterns here.
3. Fruity liqueur: Take some medium quality spirit (I like vodka or white rum), add a load of fruit and sugar. Seal in an airtight bottle and store somewhere cool and dark, like a kitchen cupboard. Shake every day for at least three months and then serve over ice. Yum yum yum.
4. Lime pickle: Great on toast. Recipe here. It’s good.
5. Throw a party where everyone brings something. A friend of mine throws the best cheese and beer parties every Christmas. Everyone brings a couple of bottles of beer and some obscure dairy product from around the world to his flat and we have a great night. It’s not exactly a present, but I like to think that the presence of good company is presents enough!

Ed: Apparently she wrote a similar article a few months ago in the same paper. Why didn’t she start putting money aside for her daughter’s Christmas present then? I’m pretty sure that’s what my mum used to do for me and my brother. Oh well.

It’s not just a pen

He ain't getting in to the Brixton Academy.

On Wednesday this week, I went to see The Deftones, one of my favourite bands, with Coheed & Cambria supporting. It was great, the hairs on the back of my neck were standing up, and I woke up yesterday morning with that elated pain all over my body that you only get from a good night out.

One of the friends joining us was stuck in traffic, so once the rest of us had passed security (checking we haven’t got any sharp obects on us etc) I walked through to the ticket office to leave her ticket behind the counter so the rest of us wouldn’t miss the support act. The clerk at the counter didn’t have a pen, so I fished around my handbag, where I duly found my purple felt tip that I use for note taking in meetings.

As I was leaving the ticket office to go to the bar, a security guard stopped me and asked to use my pen. He held it up in front of me and said “I need to confiscate this, come and collect it off me at the end” and told me his name and where to find him after the gig. So when the gig was over, I walked back to where he’d stopped me to collect my felt tip and he wasn’t there. About 20 minutes later, he came back and apologised, because he’d thrown my favourite pen in the bin.

I appreciate that these guys were just doing their job. They probably understand that the vast majority of people carrying a pen on them are not going to use it to stab someone in the eye, but all it takes is for one person to change the way a pen is perceived, so they have to follow the rules that the venue give them. The thing is, had he or his colleagues done their job properly, they could have confiscated my two other pens, set of tweezers, eyeliner, lip liner, and metal crochet hook. One of the friends that I went in there with had a can of hair spray and a lighter in her handbag.

This blog post serves no purpose other than to rant at the frustration of having my favourite pen confiscated on security grounds, when taking a flame thrower into the venue didn’t seem to be a problem at all. If they really wanted to do things properly, I’d suggest a no-bags-policy in the concert hall and metal detectors on the way in. Make criminals out of every one of us.

Cx