Ridiculously warm neck warmer

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Bought 5 balls of glittery black yarn from Sophie in London Haberdashery and used just under 1 ball on this with a set of 6mm needles.

Initially I wanted to do it in the round but then saw someone on the tube with a horizontal cable knitted scarf and I really liked the way it sat. The twists are pretty easy to do. I bought a kinky cable needle but you could probably use a big safety pin and just slip the stitches back onto the needle. Ymmv.

Anyway:

Cast on a multiple of 18 plus 3
Row 1: *p3, k6* to end of row (RS)
Row 2: *k3, p6* to end of row (WS)
Row 3: *p3, C6f, p3, k6* p3
Row 4: repeat row 2
Row 5: repeat row 1
Row 6: repeat row 2
Row 7: *p3, k6, p3, C6b* p3
Row 8: repeat row 2
Row 9: start back at row 1 and keep going for 18-22in

Sew up the 2 edges to make a cowl. Weave in your ends. Wear it fiercely.

Crochet pattern: super classy loo roll holder

I am attending a housewarming party later in the week, and though I was asked to get Amazon vouchers as a housewarming gift, I don’t get paid for a few weeks so decided to make something super classy instead for the man who will be able to buy anything at all on the internet when I get paid.

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OOOOHHHHHHH SO CLASSY

The pattern is really easy, and I’ve seen a knitted pattern elsewhere but wanted to crochet this one so here’s my take on it:

I used acrylic DK in a dark red and a 4mm crochet hook. You will also need a different yarn for the tassel. I used gold thread but black yarn would probably work too. Obviously, though, I needed my loo roll cover to be as CLASSY as possible.

Please note: the ch2’s don’t really count for anything, I just like to put them in there. Some people ch3 and use that in place of a dc. I think this depends on what your tension is like but I find it gives a neater finish if I use a ch2 and 1 extra dc. If this is confusing, just follow the pattern and you will be ok.

Row 1: Begin with a loop and then ch2, 10x dc into the loop. Pull the loose thread to close the hole in the middle and then slip stitch to close (10 stitches in row).

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Row 2: Ch 2, 2 dc into each st, slip stitch to close (20 stitches in row).

Row 3: Ch 2, *dc and then 2dc into next stitch* slip stitch to close (30 stitches in row).

Row 4: Ch 2, *dc in next 2 stitches and then 2dc into next stitch* slip stitch to close (40 stitches in row).

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Keep increasing each row by 10 in this way until you’ve made a disc wide enough to fit over a loo roll.

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Row 7 (or whatever depending on the chunkiness of the wool etc): ch2 *dc rest of row* slip stitch to close. Repeat until it covers the whole loo roll.

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Make a tassel to finish and voila!

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Learn to knit: floppy hat I made!

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Finished this at the North London Stitch Up on Saturday. The whole thing took about 7 hours.

Instructions:
You will need 2 sets of knitting needles, one 0.5-1mm bigger than the other. The chunkier the wool,  the bigger the needles. Check the label on your wool if you’re not sure. I used circular needles but you can use normal ones and then sew it up when you’re done.

Cast on a multiple of 4 stitches to go around your head. I used 7&8mm needles and 56 stitches.
Knit 2, purl 2 for about 4 inches with the smaller needle then knit another 8-12in with the bigger needle depending on how floppy you want your hat. More inches equals more flop here.
To make the crown, knit 2 together every 7 or 8 stitches and then for each row try to stick to these k2togs. Some people like to use markers but I have the eyes of a hawk.
Use a needle or crochet hook to loop the end in when you can no longer decrease and voila! You made a floppy  hat too.

I invented this pattern but feel free to rip it off and make money out of it if you can be bothered. Good luck, the world needs people like you.